How you manage self-esteem and self-improvement
Tip of the day!
Take some time every day for self-inquiry; self-inquiry ultimately leads to discovering the full impact of your weaknesses, as well as the revelation of your strengths and grandeur!
Theme of the day
As human beings, we are interested in what we call progress – progress in technology, in sciences, in economics, in medicine, in electronic communications, in secure teleworking, etc.
But what about your progress. Your progress as a teleworking cybersecurity professional?
Do you lead your life characterized by a tendency to attempt to develop or improve yourself? And, what about your tendency to like yourself the way you are? I mean, “Are you okay with who you are?”
In this blog, I offer you a model for self-inquiry; It is a game for self-inquiry that leads to healthy self-esteem. Great business people play this Game of how you manage self-esteem and self-improvement; It makes them great.
In previous research I conducted in the context of the war for IT and cybersecurity talent, one of the conclusions was that:
A majority of IT and cybersecurity professionals have a strong tendency to improve themselves as content matter experts;
And, that same majority of professionals tend to be lacking in self-acceptance. They recognize that self-improvement is the most important goal because it is the means for achieving all other personal outcomes. Their strong interest in self-improvement combined with very low self-acceptance indicates that they may tend to be self-critical. As a conclusion, I can say that they make things difficult by being unnecessarily hard for themselves; they are self-critical. Under stress, for example, working as teleworker in times of COVID-19 with unclear expectations and perspectives, their behavior may flip. They can become defensive for fear of being alerted to their shortcomings. Becoming defensive can result in painful and even broken communication with yourself, your colleagues and our clients.
Especially in times of COVID-19, it is no cause of wonder that a strong intention to improve yourself combined with a reasonable level of self-accepting should lead to more healthy self-esteem.
As already stated in one of my previous blogs, management interaction with remote workers determine employee engagement. And engagement has a direct impact on employee performance. In our cybersecurity world, managers are from an economic point of view driven by the fulfillment of business expectations. Most of them are in the first place, content-matter-experts and not psychologists. We cannot expect them to act as psychologists. However, we can encourage them to be a listening ear and to sustain themselves and their colleagues to do some self-inquiry on a daily basis.
Let us all play the Game of how you manage self-esteem and self-improvement. It will make us great (again)!
Ask yourself
“What negative thoughts do I have about myself?”
Suggestion: Reflect on and make a list of the negative thoughts you have about yourself. Write down the specific thoughts. Make a special note of the ones that occur frequently and the ones that have the most significant impact on you as a cybersecurity teleworker.
“What positive thoughts do I have about myself?”
Suggestion: Reflect on and make a list of positive things about yourself. Write down the specific things that are good about you. These could be personality traits or even positive things that you have done. Share this list with a colleague, a friend, your manager, etc.
“What could I do to feel better about myself?”
Suggestion: Reflect on and list anything that you could do that might make you feel better about yourself. For example, you might start an exercise program, ask for support or take a certification course.
“What could I stop doing that would make me feel better about myself?”
Suggestion: In some cases, you may need to stop doing something to overcome self-criticism. You may be doing something that you don’t feel good about. However, if that is the case, replace it with a positive activity. Discuss this with someone you trust.
For example, instead of just trying to criticize your manager, replace the criticism with positive reinforcement of something you like about him/her.
“What is the main negative thought I have about myself?”
Suggestion: Reflect on and select the most frequent negative thought or the negative thought with the most significant impact.
“What are the possible positive thoughts that could replace my negative thoughts?”
Suggestion: Concerning the main negative thoughts, write down a list of possible counter-balancing thoughts.
For example, if the main negative thought is ‘I’m not smart enough as cybersecurity worker, the counter–balancing thought could be ‘I am frank and empathic, which is more important than cleverness’. Take the essential positive statements and post them where you will see them.
Notice each time you have the main negative thought. Then think one of the counterbalancing thoughts.
“To what action plan am I willing to commit to improve my self-acceptance and become a healthy self-esteemer?”
Suggestion: Reflect on and write down a series of steps to be implemented over the next 30 to 90 days that might help you to feel better about yourself. Put these in your calendar.
The theme of my next blog is, “Do you as a teleworking cybersecurity specialist feel confident enough to do your work as expected?”
You are okay the way you are!
Stay tuned!